I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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