Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
