Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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