think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
