God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's blow job season.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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