My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
