I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize