So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize