Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
