Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
