Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
