Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
