just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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