it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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