You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
