if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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