I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
