Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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