Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
