the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
