I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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