I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
