I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
