okay pat passed out under dana's car
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
