This is not my ceiling
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
