Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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