your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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