my sisters under your porch take her home
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
