I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
