yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
