toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
