i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
