is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
