You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
