so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
