Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
