Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
