yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
