we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
