drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Found your dick twin last night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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