I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
