I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
