does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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