I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You've changed since you got that strap on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And then he peed in my hair
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
