he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
im on a boat
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