What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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