is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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