I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
