margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
