That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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