maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
