do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
