Already got asked if we're dating
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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