we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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