You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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