Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
