Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
