my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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