is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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